HAMMY’S TOP 10…WORST WRESTLEMANIA MAIN EVENTS

Earlier on this week, I published a list of my Top 10 WrestleMania Main Events (click here to view it!). It’s WrestleMania 34 week, remember! In the interest of fairness, I thought about the worst WrestleMania main events. There’s plenty to choose from, aren’t there? Hulk Hogan and HHH are the worst offenders when it comes to terrible ‘Mania main events, but there are other offenders who have stunk up what should be the biggest WWE match of the year. So here are my Top 10 Worst WrestleMania Main Events.

Hulk Hogan vs The Ultimate Warrior (WWF Championship/Intercontinental Championship, WrestleMania VI)

I absolutely abhore this match! Maybe if I had nostalgic recollection of watching it, I’d think differently about it. Seeing two huge babyfaces going one on one is a major deal, but when those babyfaces are Hogan and Warrior, that’s a different. The former was a mediocre wrestler, and the latter could barely wrestle at all. What we got was a succession of rest holds that the crowd went crazy over. That irritates me more than the match itself! Well, that’s not true. This is a turgid and snooze-inducing match that doesn’t bother telling a story or even having many wrestling moves.

Macho Man Randy Savage vs Ted Dibiase (WWF Championship, WrestleMania IV)

How could Savage and Dibiase put together anything apart from a great match together? Well, this main event was the finale of a show-long tournament to crown a new WWF Champion. Both men were visibly knackered; Savage had wrestled three matches and Dibiase had wrestled two. Although both were fantastic wrestlers, it seems that endurance was not a strong point in either. They strung together a basic match, one that disappointed on almost every level.

Triple H (c) vs Randy Orton (WWE Championship Match, WrestleMania 25)

For such a WWE legend as Triple H, he’s had a trio of terrible ‘Mania main events. His affairs against Chris Jericho and Roman Reigns were dull enough, but his match against Orton out-dulled them all. Of course, when you try to wrestle a main event after the masterpiece that was HBK vs The Undertaker, you’re always going to fall short. But HHH and Orton put on such a dull affair that you’d think they weren’t even trying. Not only that, but this match came after such a heated and overblown feud that it had to be a blood-filled, No DQ match to fulfil its promise. Orton had physically assaulted HHH’s wife and kissed her, for goodness sake! HHH had invaded Orton’s home and hurled him through his living room window! You’d think they’d want to tear each other apart. But instead, they had a bout that was more suited to WWF Superstars than the main event of WrestleMania. One of the most boring ‘Mania main events ever.

The Miz (c) vs John Cena (WWE Championship Match, WrestleMania 27)

This match was treated as another part of the feud between The Rock and John Cena, and in no way felt like a main event. The Miz, at that time, was nowhere near ready to hold a World title. Cena, well, wrestled like the John Cena before he strapped on his wrestling boots. This would have been a mediocre match for a mid-card belt, but on the grandest stage of them all it was an insult to its audience. No one cared about this match, and neither did John Cena by the look of it.

The Undertaker vs Roman Reigns (WrestleMania 33)

If The Undertaker returns to fight John Cena at WrestleMania 34, it will undermine the end of this match. But then again, this match was ruined by the end of the Streak a few years beforehand. After the Streak was ended by Brock Lesner, beating The Undertaker at WrestleMania lost all lustre. The Streak was over, so who cared if The Undertaker lost at WrestleMania again? Not only that, but once again WWE was shoving Reigns down our throats, pushing him into the main event of Mania through the pained scream of the WWE universe. Reigns couldn’t carry the broken down ‘Taker. It was a sad and pathetic sight, seeing Taker botch move after move, stumble around the ring and look like he could collapse at any time. I don’t want to see ‘Taker wrestle again. This was even worse than his stinker of a main event against Sycho Sid at ‘Mania 13.

The Rock (c) vs John Cena (WWF Championship Match, WrestleMania 29)

Their first ‘Once In A Life Time’ match at ‘Mania 28 was bad enough, but that had novelty behind it. Their rematch simply sucked. The Rock had forgotten how to wrestle and Cena (more often than not) needs to be carried. The result was a slog of a match, a rudimental tug of war that forgot to tell a story or involve psychology. I could put up with one ‘Once in a Lifetime’ match, but ‘twice in a life time’ pushed me to the limit. I genuinely thought about turning the TV off at one point and never watching wrestling again. Yes, a little dramatic, but who wanted a rematch of a match that was terribly anyway?

Sgt. Slaughter (c) vs Hulk Hogan (WWF Championship, WrestleMania VII)

Whose idea was it to write a storyline based on the contemporary Gulf War? Sgt. Slaughter was turned into an Iraqi sympathiser, making Hogan a REAL American hero who would defeat the turncoat and bring home the WWF Championship! Surely, that storyline would be a moneymaker? Errr, no…WWF had to change to a smaller arena because tickets weren’t selling for their premier event. What’s worse, Hogan and Slaughter stunk up the ring worse than their feud did. Hogan even bleeds at one point in a desperate attempt to rouse the crowd.

Bret Hart (c) vs Yokozuna/Yokozuna (c) vs Hulk Hogan (WWF Championship, WrestleMania IX)

Why put Yokozuna in the main event of anything? Why have him defeat the rising star Bret Hart, before having him lose in seconds to the returning Hulk Hogan? Everything about this double main event leaves a bad taste in the mouth. Hart tries his best to carry Yokozuna, but it’s not worth his struggle. A good match was beyond Yokozuna at that point. Yokozuna beats Hart after his manager throws salt in Hart’s face. To add insult to injury, Hogan comes out, calls Yokozuna ‘The Jap’ and challenges AND beats him for the WWF Championship. What a way to ruin the moment of two virgin ‘Mania main eventers, WWF!

Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice (WrestleMania XIII)

Just think, we got Hogan vs Sid Justice instead of Hogan vs Ric Flair. Instead, Flair had a cracking match with Randy Savage for the WWF Championship earlier on in the card and we were given Hogan vs Justice as the main event. And what a shambles we saw! It had sloppy in-ring work, a Hulk Hogan who didn’t care anymore, the ever-awful Sid Vicious, and a hilariously botched ending. The exclamation point on this joke of a match was the appearance of The Ultimate Warrior, who’d lost so much weight that the crowd didn’t believe it was The Ultimate Warrior. This would be the worst WrestleMania main event ever, if it wasn’t for…

Bam Bam Bigelow vs Lawrence Taylor (WrestleMania XI)
He’s makin’ me cry

Celebrities wrestling matches at WrestleMania is a rarity. I understand that it’s an attempt to grab mainstream attention. But why have a footballer in a WrestleMania main event? You’ll have to ask Vince McMahon about that one, as he thought it fit to put Lawrence Taylor in the main event of WrestleMania XI. Yes, Taylor was put in the main event above HBK and Diesel, who were fighting for the WWF Championship. It’s clear that Taylor is struggling to keep up early in the match, and by the halfway point he can barely stand up. He and Bigelow have clearly rehearsed the minutiae of the match repeatedly, but Taylor is not up for it. An embarrassment of a main event.

(Dis)Honourable Mentions

Hulk Hogan vs King Kong Bundy (WrestleMania II)

Hulk Hogan vs Andre the Giant (WrestleMania III)

Sycho Sid vs The Undertaker (WrestleMania 13)

Chris Jericho vs HHH (WrestleMania X-8)

HHH vs Batista (WrestleMania 21)

HHH vs Roman Reigns (WrestleMania 32)

Agree or disagree? Any you’d take away or add? What is your Top 10?