5. Pat McAfee vs Vince McMahon (WrestleMania 38 Sunday)

In 2022, is there any need for 76 year old Mr. McMahon to have a match? Well, Sunday night gave us the answer: yes, apparently! After the very entertaining McAfee vs Austin Theory match (which McAfee won), McAfee and McMahon pointed at each other. This lead to a match happening between the two! Just…why? No one wanted it, no one asked for it. McAfee had his WrestleMania moment; did McMahon also need a WrestleMania moment? What we didn’t need was the worst match of WrestleMania 38…

Now, I was terribly driven to name Sami Zayn vs Johnny Knoxville as the worst match of the weekend. Like McMahon, Knoxville has no business being in a wrestling ring. The weapons-and-prank-filled brawl reminded me of the awful excesses of the Attitude Era. It was slapstick comedy that never raised a smile from me; goofy antics that should have been reserved for the Jackass show rather than the wrestling ring. However, merely thinking about McMahon flailing about with the worst clotheslines in the history of wrestling makes me want to cancel the WWE Network!

Of course, Theory interfered with a weak forearm to McAfee’s back, a move which supposedly incapacitated McAfee to such a degree that McAfee could not avoid McMahon’s slow-motion clotheslines. And yes, for his age McMahon does have impressive arm muscles…but to execute a clothesline effectively the run-up has to be quick and explosive! A sloth could have avoided McMahon’s clotheslines! Not only that, but his arms flailed about like an octopus’ legs, making the whole thing laughably ridiculous. Even in his 50s, it was believable that a clothesline from McMahon could put a younger athlete on the mat. Here, it destroyed any suspension of disbelief.

I understand one reason behind McMahon having a match; to see Stone Cold come out and hit a Stunner on McMahon one last time. But that could have happened before/during/after Austin’s bout with Kevin Owens! That would have been a fitting tribute to the Attitude Era where McMahon would try to screw Austin at every available opportunity. It would have left McAfee to bask in the glory of a victory, rather than have to sell the worst clotheslines in wrestling history. But no; the owner of WWE had to have his WrestleMania moment (and Austin his second WrestleMania moment in two days!).

And I could write a whole blog about the inevitable Stunner that Austin gave McMahon. So terrible that it was hilarious. That almost made up for the five minutes of hell I had to endure with McMahon/McAfee. But that happened after the match. Then, of course, we had Austin drinking beers once again. An unnecessary epilogue to a fitting farewell, one that upended the perfection of the previous night’s main event.

Perhaps McMahon wanted to prove that he could go in the ring, one last time (let’s hope it’s one last time, anyway). If so, he failed. It didn’t do Austin Theory or McAfee any favours, did it? It only benefitted McMahon and Austin, two people who didn’t need yet another WrestleMania moment. The match, only five minutes long, seemed to go on forever, as did the post-match Austin-centric shenanigans. If, for example, Belair/Lynch or Rhodes/Rollins showed us the best of WWE, McMahon/McAfee showed us the worst of WWE. McAfee had his WrestleMania moment…as part of possibly the worst match in ‘Mania history. So that’s any achievement…of sorts…

Hammy’s Rating: * (out of 5)

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