Quick Review : Metroid – Samus Returns (3DS)

A remake is supposed to capture the spirit of the original whilst bringing something new to the table, isn’t it? This remake of Metroid II is not particularly a bad game. But in updating the original for the modern era, this remake sacrifices the spirit of the original. This turns the Metroid franchise into the more action-orientated game play of the risible Metroid: The Other M.

Quick Review : Minority Report (2002)

This is the first (and last, so far) union of Steven Spielberg and Philip K. Dick…so it begs the question…how does Spielberg match up against Ridley Scott and Paul Verhoeven? The answer is…very well! Scott went for the more slow-paced, meditative adaption, Verhoeven went for the action-packed and ultraviolent adaptation…and Spielberg hovers somewhere in between. Of course, there’s no ultraviolence here, as it’s a summer blockbuster…and being a summer blockbuster, Minority Report seems confined by delivering action set-pieces and philosophical musings about justice and morality.

This will always look cool

It’s not an easy task, is it? Tom Cruise does fine as the main character, but just like Arnie in Total Recall, you can’t escape the fact that it’s Tom Cruise, running about doing Tom Cruise-esque things. Total Recall dove in head-first with the absurdity of having Arnie as the leading man in a philosophical story (by making it ultraviolent and full of one liners). Tom Cruise can’t help being Tom Cruise, regardless of his acting quality. Still, the story is strong enough and the philosophical musings profound enough to deliver an exciting thriller that delivers on the action set pieces.

However, my major gripe about Minority Report is that it’s about twenty minutes too long. By the two hour mark, you feel that the credits should be rolling…but there’s another twenty minutes left!

Hammy’s Rating: 3/5

Memorable Scene

Anderton and Leo Crow

Memorable Quote

‘Science has stolen most of our miracles’

Related Reviews

Click here for my Quick Review of Total Recall (1990)

Quick Review : True Lies (1994)

So much for Arnie being the last action hero! While that film set out to parody the action genre, ‘True Lies’ manages to top Arnie’s previous film in terms of ridiculous (yet riotously entertaining) action scenes). How about having Arnie ride a horse whilst chasing a terrorist riding a motorbike? How about having Arnie flying a Harrier jet to rescue his daughter? Including an inherent absurdity in the action scenes enables ‘Last Action Hero’ to parody action films without being an explicit parody.

Quick Review : Last Action Hero (1993)

What happens when you put one of the best action hero actors together with one of the best action directors to make an action movie parody? You get this decidedly uneven, absurd kind of film that tries to have its cake and eat it. Arnie stars as Jack Slater in the film within a film. But in the film, Jack Slater is played by the movie version of Arnie…

Quick Review : Total Recall (1990)

What happens when you put Paul Verhoeven, Arnie and Philip K. Dick into a blender? This delicious sci fi classic! This is an ultraviolent philosophical spectacle (yes, science fiction did pose philosophical questions before ‘The Matrix’ arrived!), where the line between reality and dreams is blurred.

Quick Review : The Karate Kid Part 3 (1989)

Well, we’re back to LA for this threequel, along with the now well-worn story. The only thing that stands out is a hammy outing from Thomas Ian Griffin as Terry Silver, the big villain of the piece, the man behind Cobra Kai! Honestly, his performance is so scenery-chewing that sometimes you forget the overall stupidity of the plot. Silver, an evil millionaire, wants revenge on Daniel-San for his actions in the original.

Quick Review : The Karate Kid (1984)

How can I review a film I’ve loved since I was a child? Simple answer: not critically! In my humble opinion, ‘The Karate Kid’ is an almost flawless film. It tells a timeless story very well, helping along by a heart-warming relationship between the two leads of Daniel-San and Mr. Miyagi. Daniel-San is the ultimate under-dog (yes, even more so than Rocky Balboa!), a foreigner in a foreign land.

Quick Review : The Karate Kid (2010)

When I first read about this remake, I was perplexed. Firstly, why call it ‘The Karate Kid’ when it was based in China? Karate originated from Japan, not China! Not only that, but qhy change the age of the protagonist? Surely, it would make this remake’s version where Miyagi saves Daniel from the bullies uncomfortable?

Quick Review : Rumble In The Bronx (1995)

Jackie Chan burst into Hollywood with this chaotic, action-packed film. Yes, the plot may be flimsy, the dialogue forgettable (especially with the awkward dubbing), and has stereotypes posing as characters, but let’s be honest, you don’t watch Jackie Chan films for any of that. You watch them for his hilarious fight scenes and crazy stunts, of which this film possesses an abundance.

Quick Review : Probotector (NES) (The European Version of Contra !!!)

My Contra journey ends at the beginning…with the European version of Contra! Yes, us Europeans didn’t like violence in video games in the 1980s. Instead of two musclebound heroes shooting legions of a foreign army, here we have two robots shooting…other robots! However, that doesn’t detract from the sheer thrill of this game. It’s the shortest of the three, but it’s just as difficult (apart from the disappointing last boss).