The second Star Wars spin-off will be with us soon. Yes, Solo: A Star Wars Story will tell us everything we needed to know about a young Han Solo (well, probably apart from his conception. This is Disney we are talking about!). Also rumoured to happen is a film about the lost years of Obi-Wan Kenobi. I can’t imagine that will be interesting, can you? An aging man watching a young boy grow up from afar? Not exactly a family film! I’ve already wrote about some wacky ideas for Star Wars spin-offs, but as Solo: A Star Wars story is fast approaching, I’d thought I’d add some more wacky Star Wars spin-off ideas for your reading pleasure!
- Where It All Began
Or maybe…The Force Begins? Let’s rewind to the beginning of the Star Wars universe, or rather, let’s rewind to where people started to discover the Force. Maybe have primitive people slowly beginning to utilise Force powers. A man tries to kill a Wampa for a Spear, but the Wampa knocks the spear out of his hand. The man is Force-sensitive and unconsciously uses the Force to hurl the spear at the Wampa.
Just think about it…you could have a brother and sister, or two friends, or two lovers, finding out that they are Force-sensitive. But of course, they know nothing of the Force, or even the Light/Dark divide. So they’d begin to differ in their appreciation and use of the Force until they eventually split and create the Light and Dark sides of the Force…It would end in a big battle, between said protagonists, but a Lightsaber-less battle!
Okay, I haven’t yet thought of a proper name for this spin-off. Have you ever wanted to know how these two bozos ended up at Mos Eisley Cantina? Well, we can guess that, thanks to Rogue One. But how did Evazan get those scars? Is he really a wanted man with a death sentence on twelve systems? You could go down a comedy route, having these two criminals being exposed as bumbling buffoons. You know, the lovable criminals who always wreck their own crimes! Maybe Evazan is a wanted man on twelve systems…but for parking violations! I’m thinking a Star Wars version of The Nice Guys! Of course, you’d end the film as Baba and Evazan go for a drink at the Cantina.
Come on, K-2SO was the best thing about Rogue One. We know he’s an Imperial droid reprogrammed about the Rebel Alliance. But how did that event come about? We’d see that, of course. K-2SO could start life as a glitchy, droll robot, a la Johnny Five, a droid who is always disobeying Empire orders. Eventually he’s disposed of by the Empire, but puts up a fight before being shutdown. The Rebel Alliance come across him, reboot/reprogram him, but he’s still a droll kind of droid! We then get to see him kick a lot of Empire backside!!! It writes itself.
What happened to make Mr. Palpatine so angry and mad at the world? What caused him to desire galaxy-wide domination? Why did he choose the Dark Side instead of the Light Side? And what was all that sinister talk about Darth Plaguies the Wise? Was Palpatine Plagueis’ pupil? This is merely my fantasy film where it’s revealed that Jar Jar Binks was Darth Plagueis all along…just joking! Yes, we’ve seen the rise and fall of Anakin Skywalker…but what if Palpatine desired the Dark Side from the very beginning? He saw the state of the world and thought that morality meant nothing, so desired the cool powers of the Dark Side. We’d stop just as he’s elected as a Galactic Senator for Naboo…We need a Star Wars film where the main character is a full-on villain!
Can’t we all agree that the Canto Bight subplot was the best part of The Last Jedi? That it didn’t feel shoehorned in by any means? That it didn’t make The Last Jedi feel cluttered and messy? No? Don’t we need a whole film about Canto Bight? Let’s see more of the pseudo-greyhound races! Let’s see an alien James Bond seducing a Bothan! Let’s see Benicio Del Toro explore his amorality even further by sending filthy text messages to Rose Tico whilst kissing a First Order general! Oh, and reveal at the end of the film that the chips used in the gambling tables are actually…carved out of dismantled droids! The possibilities are endless!
Do you have any wacky ideas for Star Wars spin-offs? Leave your comments below!
Click here for Ideas for Star Wars Spin-Offs: Episode I
Click here for Ideas for Star Wars Spin-Offs: Episode II
I want to know what Salacious B. Crumb was up to before becoming a major player in the Jabba’s Palace henchman profession.
Did he attend years of evil henchmen night school to one day achieve his place by Jabba’s side?
Was he born into wealth and a reputation for evil, so no real need to do anything but drift through life thanks to his father’s many business connections?
Did he have to give HJs under a bridge until he had the money to go to evil university?
Etc.
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I like it!!!
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I would be on board with a K-2SO movie. A movie starring Obi Wan might not be so bad. He was one of the best things about the prequels.
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True…but maybe a pre-prequels Obi Wan?
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